Empress Theresa

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Many times the critics who say they couldn't finish the book say it's because it was boring, went on too long, or was just poorly written. When Norman opines that they didn't see what happens at the end, he seems to have completely missed the point: they don't want to get to the end, because his book is so badly written. If a movie has the best climax ever, but has two hours of needless and poorly done filler before then, no one is going to stay for the climax. Likewise, if a book is badly written, no one is going to continue reading it. Theresa arrives at West Point to the excitement of her parents, seeing them after so long. They discuss what’s happened since she last saw them, including the flight. A notable point is that the media speculates that she contrived this crisis to make herself look like a hero, which is not far off from the truth. But she ridicules it as stupid and shrugs the idea off. Her parents would return to Boston, but not before watching the crazy Army-Navy football game. He considers the book to be the "greatest novel ever written," [16] and considers it his "magnum opus," admitting, "I can’t imagine writing anything else." [17] Amazingly enough, he's also stated that his "real objective is that the book be made into a movie," which he believed would be "an instant hit," adding, "If the movie is made and made well I don't care if nobody but the movie producer reads the book." [18] Synopsis [ ] Introduction [ ] This book is Literary Sadomasochism. She's obsessed with how she looks and dresses, how her butt or cleavage looks or her wonderful mane of hair. She solves all the "world" problems in a way that benefits herself or makes her look great, but not by her wits or intelligence but by an outside power. At the age of ten she was possessed or something by a ball of energy or something that jumped out of fox or something and gives her superpowers. Applied Phlebotinum: HAL is basically a ball of concentrated Phlebotinum. Theresa vaguely explains how it functions with pseudo-scientific jargon.

Norman was challenged on this and asked a direct question as to whether he sees people solely as their occupations. After repeatedly dodging the question, the critic said that failure to answer would be taken as an affirmative [33]. Norman followed up with an accusation that the critic was trying to deflect away from an argument he "won". [34] Pride [ ] The next day, she uses the first paragraphs of the Declaration of Independence as a speech, and everyone loves it so much they credit her with the world’s greatest speech. In the other thread, [14] it was more of the same. A member named amsawtell posted a blunt but honest reaction to Norman's writing and antics:A jet fighter sidles up next to her, and with this she has renewed confidence in her abilities. She spends hours reading the pilot manuals to understand how to fly the plane, and after being escorted by multiple planes on the way to New York, she manages to come in with a plane that escorts her to nearing the city. When she nears the city, the plane ahead of her convinces her to sharply turn to the ocean to make a water landing. She couldn’t do it, saying that she was afraid of doing it wrong. Her theory is that a water landing would give her more leniency in case she made any mistakes. Her response? “I’m going to the airport! They can go to hell!” Loved by All: Theresa is universally adored the entire planet, who throng about her wherever she goes. People are captivated by her the moment she walks in a room simply because she radiates goodness. Professionals in their fields are in awe of her wisdom. The only people who dislike her are the press because she's just so gosh-darn perfect that they can't dig up any dirt on her.

This is (purportedly) an adult man attempting to write in the voice of a young girl. It reads like an adult man trying to write in the voice of a young girl. Evidently he thinks ten year old girls speak in short, choppy, awkward, irritating sentences. Nothing about this first person narration rings true. This later becomes a recurring plot point for Theresa in that whenever a new problem arises, she has to spend time "Programming" HAL to do whatever it is she needs done but will always end up with a new set of fully functional powers to use by the end. Many of these traits are seen in Norman Boutin's handling of critics, as well as his statements towards people elsewhere. At one point, Theresa is bleeding in the ocean and attracting sharks, which HAL turns into chum, attracting more sharks and repeating the cycle endlessly. However, shark blood actually acts like shark repellant-no other sharks would've been attracted to the carnage.

Improvised Weapon: Theresa improvises a flotation device using a bag full of soda bottles. She does this by casually taking a dozen bottles of soda out of a cooler and, in full view of her captors, placing them into a garbage bag. No one suspects anything. On the way to the grocery store, Theresa is kidnapped by six men with handguns, who force her into a large van. She is taken to two helicopters in a field, placed in one, and taken southward, then towards the east. Theresa is told that she is to be executed "in a plane with an atom bomb," because "nothing could survive an A-bomb." She is taken to "some military airbase next to some nondescript building that might be used for anything." While there, she is allowed to use the restroom.

Her husband, in a Senate hearing, says he knew nothing about aliens and how amazing Theresa is. Another segment describes how her last words were so amazing, they’ll make a movie about her. Father Donoughty gives a testimony of his experience with Theresa, eventually declaring her a martyr. Another story describes how a freighter witnesses the first evidence of the wind stopping. From that, it’s realized that the wind is stopping in an area where the radius is expanding at 18 miles an hour. Next, “Blair’s Folly”, or Blair’s search for Theresa, is mentioned in brief, as Blair seems to realize that Theresa is the reason the wind stops. Finally, President Martin resigns, leaving the Secretary of Defense in charge while the Vice President was sleeping.Threatening Shark: Theresa ends up falling into shark-infested waters and HAL uses its powers to cause mass cannibalism amongst the sharks, creating a huge bloodbath that Theresa nevertheless gets out of in one piece. This is meant to be family-friendly by the way. The Prime Minister of Israel declares Theresa to be "the right hand of God" and how an interview between Theresa and the press was the most important interview since Moses came down the mountain. Jews are very respectful about using the name of God and wouldn't throw it around so casually. Despite this, he still claims that people of all ages will love the book ('show it to your 8 year old daughter, show it to your grandmother. They will both love Empress Theresa!') and also recommends teachers use it in the classroom as part of their curriculum. Whether it's for high schoolers or lower isn't stated, but knowing Norman, it would be for all ages. http://www.catholicfiction.net/blog/there-s-a-world-to-save-an-interview-with-catholic-novelist-norman-boutin.php

At one point, Theresa completely destroys the economy for gold bullion owners, and they hire a lawyer to take Theresa to court over her alteration of the economy. Instead of being angry at the people who hired a lawyer for a class action lawsuit, Theresa instead sabotages the life of the lawyer and makes it so any motor vehicle with her inside will inexplicably stall and fail. This is treated as okay because of the fact that Theresa was being bullied, never mind that she is bullying an innocent lawyer who is just trying to do her job (whom she also knows has children). Theresa never reverses this either, so this is presumably just something this woman has to live with forever now, and the book acts like this just immediately stops the lawsuit and Theresa is done with this situation.Character Shilling: Prime Minister Peter Blair thinks that Theresa is the greatest being in the entire world. He isn't the only one who does this but he's very prominent about it. Buxom Beauty Standard: The story contains an unnerving number of references to the heroine's bosom. Golden Moment: Whenever Steve and Theresa quarrel and then make up. Or at least, Norman tries to frame it that way in a very in-your-face kind of way. They return after a week to fix a minor issue concerning the rain - it can’t rain all the time, so there must be some control given to when and where the rain happens. Blair is given control of the chessboard, where can can control how many columns are creating rain at any one time. After giving this responsibility away, the Hartleys are ready once again to continue relaxing.